gloom

It is getting dark again.

I am re-watching my favourite shows.

I’m writing bad poetry on the edges of books I haven’t read

I am staying in bed more, under the sky of my covers

I am dragging my feet, the world swirls around me in hues of grey

my limbs are heavy, my eyes are dull.

I am avoiding my bathroom, my kitchen, and my dog

I don’t remember the last time I charged my phone.

It is getting dark again.

my humanity weighs heavily on me

my blood is too much, too thick in my veins

I am too heavy for my soul.

I crave a knife to stab myself into a pulp

To cut myself open and show you. here

it hurts here

and here

and here on this scared vein, healed over

but mostly here,

It is getting dark again.

and the call of the abyss is getting louder.

beyond the shadows,

lies my peace

I can leave all this behind.

this heavy heart, this wet face

these tired hands and face and forced laughter

This need to be more, to be something, to be anything.

I can finally be free. free of everything. free of breath

It is getting dark again.

And I am so tired.

of fighting off the gloom